Raising Cinderella...or an Evil Stepsister (5 easy steps)

      Raising Cinderella...or an Evil Stepsister (5 easy steps)

If you ask, most people would hope they are raising a Cinderella. 

Let's look at reality.  
Go to Walmart and look around you...or go on the cruise I just finished.  

On that ship were more ugly, middle-aged, totally uninhibited stepsisters than I have ever seen. I suspect there might have been a middle-aged-white-woman-fool convention on board.  It was obvious these women don't possess a mirror or they would cover that old flab and wear their own clothes instead of their grandchildren's finest, but evil stepsisters are never taught to deal with their flaws or use discretion, or the importance of purity and modesty...and it just grows worse with age! Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming to be as feminine or modest as I should, but, well, you've seen them too.

Raising Cinderellas:

1- Let her be Cinderella-

Creative outfit...

Come on, forget your pride and let the kid go out of the house dressed as Cinderella if she wants to...or even Pippi Longstockings.  She will grow out of it way to soon.  The worst that will happen is you will be asked if you're going to a costume party.  Just smile and answer "no", as though there's nothing unusual. I remember, though,  going into the local jewelry store (back when they had it all set up with china and crystal displays)  and feeling the air being sucked out of the room as I entered with a 3 year old daughter in a full bride dress with train and veil - and on roller skates, but air returned and breathing resumed when I sat her beside the door as soon as soon as we entered. Have fun!

2- Yep, Cinderella did learn a lot of character from working hard.  So work that kid!  She is a valuable, contributing member of the family.  Cinderellas don't develop from sitting on pedestals or fluffy beds...but from the  humble ashes. We could study the evil stepmother to learn how to do this, but since we don't really like her or hold her as the parent-example to follow, we might change the strategy a little teach the little cinder child by example- just start early to make work a normal part of life. This is SO important for a Cinderella!

3-Don't let her out of the house until the prince comes looking for her and bring her shoes...and then if the shoe fits, let her wear it.  Enough said.

4-Ok, we don't want her going to find a fairy godmother to replace us, so again, we should differ in strategy from the stepmother because evil stepmother in the story doesn't end up with the mother/daughter relationship we desire. Treat her like Cinderella the princess- a special, beautiful, gracious child. You can't praise a child too much...you can brag, gloat, and focus on appearance too much, but genuine praise builds her up.  Make special nights just for her...have a "Sarah" night for your Sarah.  Make her favorite meal, let her choose the activity, have a cape and crown and make her chair look like a throne...maybe Dad can bring her flowers.  Everyone share good things about her.  Later, she can help plan a special night for other family members.  And when she is older, she will probably plan a "Mom" night.  Cinderellas do learn to give back.

Abby teaching the girls about mud masks

5-Let her have mice-friends.  Take it how you want it. I think kids and animals go well together-but that certainly isn't a necessity  But, girls need nice, humble friends-and those that live within the same walls are great ones for them to have.  True, Cindy didn't have friendships with her sisters, but just think of how wonderful it could have been if she had!  There is so much for kids to learn from the humble settings of home and woods or yards.  No, my girls never had pet mice...dogs, raccoons, oppossums, rabbits, deer, pig, guinea pig, horses, goats, geese, ducks, cats, snakes, birds...but no mice that I can remember. Kacie did have a woodland fairy wedding and we asked the birds to make her wedding dress, but we had to redo it...they just weren't that good without the mice helping.


Raising evil step-sisters:


1- Make sure she is always dressed well -the very best attire available and frown upon those who don't. It may cost you more now, but that's ok, you will be used to it as spending on her will continue...forever.

2- Leave the cleaning to Cindy...you don't want those nails messed up or her hands to be wrinkled. Prince Charming won't like that...it is all about beauty.  The brain doesn't matter, just the bod!

3- Don't try to fix any of her flaws...she might become aware that her foot WON'T FIT IN THE SHOE!

4-Constantly brag on her even if it isn't sincere...and never let her fail.  If she doesn't think she is the perfect 10 and God's gift to man, she might be inhibited.  You do want her noticed don't you?  Remember my cruise.

5-It's all about reputation...make one up for her if you have too
 ...might be better than the one she makes for herself.

Parables From the Barnyard: The Good Shepherd

I do believe that all creation praises God...and the very rocks and trees cannot help but shout and reflect His majesty...that the Master Artist, Master Gardener, Master Shepherd, THE MASTER OF ALL hid His Truths and Gems of Wisdom in plain sight within all of creation.  Just look for it...He used a lot of it in His parables He told while He walked the earth.  (And while you are at it, notice the fragrance, textures, colors, and sounds around you!)

I am going to attempt to share some stories or ramblings I have written over the years that came from looking ever so slightly for those truths and those wisdoms in the woods, fields, and garden. They are just stories of our family and farm and flawed observances from a human heart.  I had family time with kids in mind when I started these.  Also, obviously some are only meant to be taken light-heartedly.

The Good Shepherd

Don’t every four-year old girl dream of a black lamb for her birthday?  That was at the top of our youngest daughter's wish list when she turned four, so we found a little black lamb in Cabot, Arkansas and it rode home snuggled in Kacie’s lap, a unique precious gift for a unique precious little girl.  Belle, as she was named, sucked a baby bottle filled with formula, and though her early home on our little farm was a corner of the stable, she was often found in the house napping on Kacie’s lap.  As Belle grew, her home also enlarge and she enjoyed the full stable and large barnyard where she romped with goats, geese, and Peter the pot-bellied-pig..  She was often allowed to roam in the yard with the family, eating green grass and frolicking with the girls.  She always stayed near; it wasn’t her nature to wander.  She really served no practical, useful purpose - unless being harnessed to the little red wagon and pulling children around the yard counts as usefulness.

Being such a special lamb, and generally obedient, Belle often accompanied the family and dogs on walks in the woods or was put on a leash and taken on neighborhood walks. Lest I only show her good side, I should insert that Belle was a bit stubborn and did have a few minor behavior problems as any overindulged critter would...usually centered on desire for freedom from the barnyard or desire to feast in the grain bin in the barn.  Our community has a large festival which is held the end of April with various activities throughout the long week-end, and shortly after Belle’s first birthday, she accompanied Kacie to her favorite activity of the festival...the children’s pet show.  Belle was dressed in a red ruffled apron and an old hat with ribbons; Kacie was dressed in a pinafore and a red apron that matched Belle's, and cute little red bonnet.  The compliant, well-dressed black sheep and the adorable five-year-old little girl with her braids and bonnet were a storybook picture and won the “judges favorite” award.  

Some time after she was grown, we bought the girls a Welsh pony they named Freckles.  Belle and Freckles lived together  for a short time in the barnyard, and then we moved them to  a small pasture beside the barn. They black sheep and pony became the closest companions, always together grazing or resting. When freckles was saddled and ridden, Belle was usually let out of the pasture to play around in the yard.  When we tied Freckles out to eat tall grasses around the back edge of the yard, Belle would be tethered nearby to also feast.  They became inseparable friends and the little pasture was their own oasis with room to run. A small wooded area with a little stream was nestled in the corner of the pasture and provides wonderful shade and refreshment.  They seemed happy and content and nothing troubled them except for an occasional visit from neighbor dogs.  Freckles hated the neighbor dogs and sent them sailing with one well-place kick as soon as one would slip under the fence.

Life if full of joy, but there are times in life that we must endure that aren’t so joyous.  Our family’s life has certainly been no exception.  Three year’s had passed since Belle joined our family and as Kacie’s seventh birthday approached, at the top of her wish list that year was her father’s release from the hospital.  A strange, undiagnosed disease had suddenly attacked her strong, tough daddy and left him with serious physical disability and tettering on the edge of death.  Though we didn’t know if he would ever recover, he was temporarily released and came home the evening of her birthday. And though a far cry from the carefree, joyous birthday when Belle came into our life, we were all so happy to have daddy home.  The weeks that followed were a struggle, filled with difficult, roller-coaster days and nights of uncertainty  We soon concluded that in order to cope, changes had to be made on our little farm.  Usually a time of great joy and excitement, spring 1994 was subdued and somber.  The arrival of baby chicks, goslings, and other critters accompanied spring on our farm as certainly as the leaves budding on the trees and opening of the blooms on the daffodils and irises.  Caring for Bob in an invalid condition and carrying the extra burden he usually bore made it very difficult for me to juggle a job, the girls, the usual spring additions and even maintain care for our present menagerie.  By summer Bob was some better, but we decided we should cut back as many things as possible to manage more easily.  There was so little time to saddle and ride Freckles and he required considerable care, so along with most goats, he was sold.  Belle had no practical function, but her value as a loving pet kept her from even being considered for elimination.

We hated to see any animals go, but one by one, we whittled down our numbers. Lastly, the day came when the happy new owners came to take Freckles.  With more than a little sadness, but resolute that it must be done, we waved our final good-by to our dear pony.  We would all miss riding, hugging, and brushing her.  Poor Belle; we knew she would especially miss her dear friend.  What we didn’t know was the truly profound effect it would have on her life!  

The next day after Freckles left, we went to feed Belle, calling for her as we always had, but she didn’t come. We called again and again - no Belle.  Never had Belle failed to come to us. She always came as quickly as a well-trained dog.  We all began to search, hoping against all odds to find her simply tangle in brush.  After quite some time, I found her.  It was a horrible sight of wool, briers, and blood tangled together under vines.  The missing plugs of flesh and wool, along with other physical evidence told the story of being chased and nipped by dogs.  Chased into exhaustion and finally trapped in tangles of briers and vines, dogs had made sport of killing Kacie’s beloved sheep. Those same dogs that had been kept at bay by Freckles sharp eye and accurate, swift hoof, had preyed on the helpless sheep the very first night she was left alone.  

I had never even considered Freckles protective role in Belle’s life.  I had envisioned the dogs as canine nuisances.  Freckles had known them to be deadly enemies.  What an incompetent shepherd I had been not to even recognize the danger. What a poor shepherd to leave the sheep totally unprotected!  As a shepherd, I had overlooked one of the most dire need a sheep has.  I had totally failed! 

Then I thought of our Good Shepherd...how in all His wisdom He knows our every need. How glad I am that God is wise and omniscient.  How comforting to know that He doesn’t make mistakes and leave us on our own even for a moment!  He doesn’t just build us a pen, enjoy us, and send us off to play.  He watches carefully over us day and night.  Our Good Shepherd protects and provides for us - and always makes for us a way of escape when our enemies come. He defeats our enemies instead of leaving us in the hands of others.  Oh how thankful I am that I have the Great Wise Shepherd and how I do want to learn from His wisdom and instruction! 

        Psalm 23

  The LORD is my shepherd;

         I shall not want.

  He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

         He leads me beside the still waters.

  He restores my soul;

         He leads me in the paths of righteousness 

         For His name’s sake. 

         

  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

         I will fear no evil; 

         For You are with me; 

         Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 

         

  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

         You anoint my head with oil; 

         My cup runs over.

  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

         All the days of my life; 

         And I will dwell[a] in the house of the LORD 

         Forever.

AMEN!